Hi there, I'm Jack vonSerialarsonist, and I hold cake infront of fat people trying to lose weight.
That out of the way, this week came the Return of the Peeps. Now, it doesn't take a genius to see that -I- was not in the video. Well, that was because Vaksha was punishing me for my prolonged absence. I was forced to sit and watch and not participate, and then was supposed to sleep with the Peeps left alive. On that note, I dedicate this post to Mikael Georgiopolini. The second best body-double I ever had. May he rest in peace....in the digestive system of Peeps...
Well, expect commentary for the lastest video soon from Frembo and Vaksha. In the mean time, I need to address a controversial topic....
Cloverfield.
Now, from what I've seen, there are two kinds of people: Those who loved Cloverfield, or those who got sick watching Cloverfield. Now, serioiusly. Dont bash the movie because you have weak stomachs. -I- liked it...and not just because there was death, destruction, chaos on a mass scale, etc. It also had a giant monster which is a plus in my book. So, I'm one of the people who loved it. Though that still makes me say, 'Hey, so you get motion-sick easily. Your problem, dont diss a good movie.
I mean...get bitten by a monster, explode. I love that. On that note, I do want to get the 'puppy' that JOHNNY ZAMBRANO mentioned...
...
......
...........Yes, i'm that evil.
On another note, I got an interesting statistic....you know how many people have come to this blog from the constipated potato website? OVER TEN THOUSAND! HAD I KNOWN THAT ANYBODY ACTUALLY READS THIS, I WOULDA FORCED MYSELF TO WRITE MORE! GAH!
Still, what's done is done. TEN THOUSAND! Oh my god, thank you ladies and gentlemen. That is one helluva number, but we need more! Spread the word! Email me! Send sugggestions! I'm running dry here because there isn't much to say this week!
oninx@earthlink.net Suggestions. Always take them.
Given its late and not much happened, I'm calling it a night! Until next time!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I'm ALIVE!
Hi there, I'm Jack vonSerialarsonist and I tap on the glass of fish tanks.
That out of the way, yes, I'm back. First and foremost, I have to dedicate this long overdue post to someone dear to me who passed away. Grigori Pilokovitch was the greatest Me Impersonator and Body Double I've ever had, and he gave his life to save mine from a horde of irate alligators that Joe sent after me. Now then, I know some of you may be a bit ticked at me for not posting, but life happens, you know? I had to brainwash the Pope, deal with things at home, convince Russia to reform the Soviet Union, spend time at rehersal, and force Mr. T to get a haircut.
BUT, I come back with all intentions to serve the fans. Among my travels, I happened to come upon a BETA copy of Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the body of a vic--custome---in a ditch. I have to admit, it is alot more fun than the released verson of Brawl. You see, they forgot to 'tone down' the characters in the Beta. For example, when I chose Solid Snake for a fight against Mario, when I grabbed Mario, Snake just snapped Mario's neck, tucked him into a duffel bag, and threw him off the stage before camoflaguing into the background. Then Metal Gear REX burst out of the stage and I had to re-do the boss fight from Metal Gear Solid...but I digress.
Then I played the RELEASED version of Brawl. I found it extremely enjoyable despite the lack of realistic violence. I expect parts to fly when I hit someone with a bomb...but still, fun game. It actually has a single-player campaign with...no... could it be? A PLOT?! No...no, oh thank heaven...well, a loose semblance of a plot where basically all of the fighters team up against some villains who bomb places into another dimension but eventually all of the bad guys turn over to the Light side of the Force and they take on the Final Boss the end. And you don't even get to fight Master Hand...of course you do in Classic Mode, but not in the Campaign. -_-
Still going to give it an A as far as video games go.
My next order of business involves a growing threat to all of us, except me, because I'm that evil and have already alligned myself with this evil power. The growing evil is....LEWIS BLACK'S NEW SHOW! The Root of All Evil. Honest? I THINK NOT! They've already had a few episodes, and have I ever been a choice?! NO! IT IS AN OUTRAGE! Oprah I could understand, even I think she's getting too powerful for her own good, but still, talking about evil and ignoring me?! NOT COOL, Lewis Black. Not cool. Soon, all ACTUALLY evil things, people, and dolphins will be ignored. This cannot stand! I shall be constructing a Clam Cannon to wipe him from the face of the planet....Nothing is more lethal than a genetically-altered clam.
Now, to you fans, I must apologize again. I'd honestly had no idea that you all actually read this and waited for it. For that, I...well, I can't bring myself to apologize, so I'll have my Slave Echidna type it:
oianw8ehangaw8hgnavsjdjlanguizsdf;ojasdfhu
Bad idea. No thumbs. Alright, take two, Slave Chimp:
pilllow chicken banana banana banana anna bananna banana ban
Not my day. Forgot about the simple mind. OKAY. Last try, Slave Hobo:
lookie here its one of them computers ive always wanted alrighty mr vonserialarsonist wants me to apologize for not posting more often so here it is he's reallly really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry.
Thank you Mr. McPharson. Well, that is a load off my chest, and I just received MORE good news. Doctor Who is returning in a week or so. You know what that means? It means we're looking at more Brilliant episodes. I wholeheartedly suggest watching the series. Those Britains know how to how to do comedy.
Well, I've rambled enough...or maybe not. Whatever the case is, this is Jack vonSerialarsonist, signing off. Again, you can email me at oninx@earthlink.net if there is ANYTHING you want me to mention in the blog, I can only come up with so many ideas myself.
That out of the way, yes, I'm back. First and foremost, I have to dedicate this long overdue post to someone dear to me who passed away. Grigori Pilokovitch was the greatest Me Impersonator and Body Double I've ever had, and he gave his life to save mine from a horde of irate alligators that Joe sent after me. Now then, I know some of you may be a bit ticked at me for not posting, but life happens, you know? I had to brainwash the Pope, deal with things at home, convince Russia to reform the Soviet Union, spend time at rehersal, and force Mr. T to get a haircut.
BUT, I come back with all intentions to serve the fans. Among my travels, I happened to come upon a BETA copy of Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the body of a vic--custome---in a ditch. I have to admit, it is alot more fun than the released verson of Brawl. You see, they forgot to 'tone down' the characters in the Beta. For example, when I chose Solid Snake for a fight against Mario, when I grabbed Mario, Snake just snapped Mario's neck, tucked him into a duffel bag, and threw him off the stage before camoflaguing into the background. Then Metal Gear REX burst out of the stage and I had to re-do the boss fight from Metal Gear Solid...but I digress.
Then I played the RELEASED version of Brawl. I found it extremely enjoyable despite the lack of realistic violence. I expect parts to fly when I hit someone with a bomb...but still, fun game. It actually has a single-player campaign with...no... could it be? A PLOT?! No...no, oh thank heaven...well, a loose semblance of a plot where basically all of the fighters team up against some villains who bomb places into another dimension but eventually all of the bad guys turn over to the Light side of the Force and they take on the Final Boss the end. And you don't even get to fight Master Hand...of course you do in Classic Mode, but not in the Campaign. -_-
Still going to give it an A as far as video games go.
My next order of business involves a growing threat to all of us, except me, because I'm that evil and have already alligned myself with this evil power. The growing evil is....LEWIS BLACK'S NEW SHOW! The Root of All Evil. Honest? I THINK NOT! They've already had a few episodes, and have I ever been a choice?! NO! IT IS AN OUTRAGE! Oprah I could understand, even I think she's getting too powerful for her own good, but still, talking about evil and ignoring me?! NOT COOL, Lewis Black. Not cool. Soon, all ACTUALLY evil things, people, and dolphins will be ignored. This cannot stand! I shall be constructing a Clam Cannon to wipe him from the face of the planet....Nothing is more lethal than a genetically-altered clam.
Now, to you fans, I must apologize again. I'd honestly had no idea that you all actually read this and waited for it. For that, I...well, I can't bring myself to apologize, so I'll have my Slave Echidna type it:
oianw8ehangaw8hgnavsjdjlanguizsdf;ojasdfhu
Bad idea. No thumbs. Alright, take two, Slave Chimp:
pilllow chicken banana banana banana anna bananna banana ban
Not my day. Forgot about the simple mind. OKAY. Last try, Slave Hobo:
lookie here its one of them computers ive always wanted alrighty mr vonserialarsonist wants me to apologize for not posting more often so here it is he's reallly really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry.
Thank you Mr. McPharson. Well, that is a load off my chest, and I just received MORE good news. Doctor Who is returning in a week or so. You know what that means? It means we're looking at more Brilliant episodes. I wholeheartedly suggest watching the series. Those Britains know how to how to do comedy.
Well, I've rambled enough...or maybe not. Whatever the case is, this is Jack vonSerialarsonist, signing off. Again, you can email me at oninx@earthlink.net if there is ANYTHING you want me to mention in the blog, I can only come up with so many ideas myself.
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